Top Irish Myths You’ll Probably Hear St. Patrick’s Day

inTIMidator March 15, 2012

#1 St. Patrick Wasn’t Irish?

Although he was thought to be the Patron Saint of Ireland, St. Patrick wasn’t actually Irish. St. Patrick is Welsh! Wha? He was actually captured by Irish pagans in about 450 BC and held in Ireland as a slave for six years before he escaped back to his home land of Britain. He only later became famous by returning to Ireland as Catholic missionary.

And to think… You gave him the most Irish day of the year.

#2 St. Patrick Didn’t Banish Snakes

Besides being am awesome Catholic missionary, one of the main reason people think we celebrate St. Patrick’s is that he supposedly chased all of the snakes of Ireland into the sea. Well that’s not really true… At all. According to herpetologists (people who study snakes), Ireland’s northern geographical location and frigid coast line temperatures, snakes physically wouldn’t be able to migrate to Ireland’s icy shores. Today, many scholars believe that snakes might serve as an allegory for Druidic priests whom Saint Patrick did banish from the Ireland.

#3 St. Patrick’s Day: Started in America?

St. Patrick’s Day in Ireland was actually just minor religious holiday. Basically, a priest would acknowledge the feast day, and families would celebrate with a big meal, but that was about it. It wasn’t until hit the US shores when the day turned into the biggest drinking day of the year. The first St. Patrick’s Day parade was held in the eighteenth-century when Irish soldiers fought with the British in the U.S. Revolutionary War.

Today, American and Irish alike celebrate the Saint Patrick by drinking themselves into a stooper and wearing clever stupid green shits. My only problem with this is that I don’t know why we don’t celebrate more saints like this.

And now, what St. Patrick’s Day is really about: